Every morning I make it a point to wish my love. We had been having issues, I was holding on too tight. More thinking less feeling. I had forgotten what love was really like. I was trying too hard to impress someone who would be impressed even if I get the smallest of the things right.
It was fear. Fear that arose from within. Fear that generated from the 1st fight we ever had. When I thought I had lost her. That fear came and never really left. After that my motivation to do things was more to do with the fear & less to do with love. Every time I’d tell my self to “not mess up this time” and you know what? I’d mess up the simplest of things. Something as simple as meeting up on time would be such a strenuous task because of this underlying fear.
I had started using my head too much instead of the heart where feelings should come from. Love is like a river, it should flow from within you and give life to everything that’s contained in you. After my last screw up I introspected. I wondered why I would do things so out of character. It then hit me that it was indeed fear of losing. So, I took up the courage to write to her what I felt; letting go of the fear that I had. I chose to love that day and face my fears head on no matter what the consequences.
The funny part about fear is, you are only going to lose if you are scared of it. When you make up your mind and heart to face this no matter what, to shed all the inhibitions that have been holding you back for so long that you can barely recognize yourself in the mirror. You emerge victorious.
I, have started my battle and I shall conquer this once and for all for, this life you live only once and only once shall you love. Be fearless in the face of fear my friend and you shall overcome all.
Observations of a lost soul 